Awful

So tomorrow is the big day!  No, we are not getting married; we are doing our first slim-ass weigh in.  Our goal was to lose at least 3 pounds.

We've been kind of bad, though.  Okay, we could not help the fact that we went to this BALLIN' concert the day before yesterday, and were so tired that we ate at the Awful Waffle.  That's fat code for the Waffle House.  We told ourselves "okay, if we eat this food we have to enjoy it because this is the last time we can eat this shit."  Okay, we scarfed it, like some damn fatties.  It took a total of 10 minutes to eat a grand slam breakfast, a piece. 

God, we wanted to throw up.  We felt horrible.  So we said we'd never do that again.

BUT, that was not the case with Jessie.  I just got to her house and she told me she's been pigging out. 

That's why our fat-ass is going running. 

We will let you know how the weigh-in goes!

Insanity, Anyone?

Nikki & Jessie here!

So we have a few fans already!  I know it's only been a short time since we started this, but we have a lot of people rooting for us!  Thank God!

We are working hard to keep up with our goal of losing 10 pounds in one month.  Our first weigh in is this upcoming Friday and we are hoping to have lost at least 3 pounds. 

Today we sucked it up and did the Insanity Workout with Mr. Shaun T.  It was the "fit test," and oh let us tell you how flippin' hard it was.  We have heard "oh, the fit test is not that bad!" Psh! What?! Are you made of pure muscle? That thing kicked our fat-asses!  We had to do simple exercises, but our fat-asses were too fat to do them!  We had to do these "lift and jump" exercises...you should have seen us!  We couldn't even lift our feet to our stomachs.  Very embarrassing.  Prime example of why we need to lose weight. 

Here are our results: 

Jessie:

Switch Kicks: 40
Power Jacks: 28
Power Knees: 78
Power Jumps: 8
Globe Jumps: 4
Suicide Jumps: 9
Push-Up Jacks: 19 
Low Plank Oblique: 38

One day down, 5 months and 29 Days to Go

Nikki here!

Wanted to give an update on the progress.  Jessie and I got our fat-asses off of the couch yesterday and ran 3 miles.  Jessie is a runner.  She has always been a runner.  I am a biker, I love to bike.  She coerced me to try running with her yesterday.  Although I was a bit intimidated by this, I still did it. 

Jessie ran the entire 3 miles.  I probably ran about 1.5 miles out of it.  I would run, then walk a block or two, then run again.  I was so surprised that I could ACTUALLY do this.  I got the best runners high ever!  Yes, it's lame how it was only about 1.5  miles, but it's a step. 

I plan on getting to the point where I can actually keep up with Jessie.  Although she's a fluffy girl, that lady can run. 

Now, if only I can coerce her to invest in a bike.  I would be uber excited!

So yesterday we ate chicken with salad and steamed broccoli for lunch.  Good, right?!  Better than fatty pizza.

Jessie drank a protein meal replacement shake.  Since her job requires her to work late hours, she was starving when she came home.  She ate tostitos chips (7 chips instead of her normal 45) with...cheese on top && a piece of ham.  Okay, not so healthy, but we are poor.  We deal with what we have lieing around in the house. 

I had a black bean burrito with chicken in it, and a side of chili.  MMMMmmmm good!  && don't judge me for going out, but after work I went out to Big Boss Brewery and had 2 beers.  Afterwards (like around 3 in the morning) I took my fat-ass out to Sheetz and got a turkey pretzel melt.  I did not know if it was healthy or not, so I ate half of it last night.  This morning I had the other half for breakfast.

BOOM!  I just looked up the calories for my pretzel melt...only 560! 

Oh yeah, and to top it off, I rode my bike all the way to Jessies house.  It was about 5 miles.  I feel bad ass.

--Nikki

Going From Fatties to Man Eaters in 6 Months

We are sure you can already tell what this blog is all about.  Our names are Jessie and Nikki.  We are short and fat; beautiful faces...not so beautiful bodies.  We are pissed.

Like seriously, how many times can you hear "you are beautiful...in the face."  Okay, well, what about my body? Asshole.  OR "I think you are really great, but I just see us as being friends." 

Really?!

When you can't even get a loser to go out with you, there's a problem--mucho problemo.

So, we are stepping up and deciding to get really really hot.  Yes, that sounds conceited and we dont care.  I know alot of women who feel the same way, which is kinda depressing, what is up America?!  No one fell in love at first personality.  Really, who says "that girl has an awesome personality, I've GOT to go talk to her."  No.  Dont lie.  That is not how it works.  Screw you.  We are getting hot and once you start hitting on us...we are eating you; for breakfast, you asshole.

We are tired of being the "big girl" in pictures, the "fatter sibling," and just some plain human being who takes up body mass.  Every year we say "oh, we are going to lose at least 20 pounds for our New Years resolution."  Obviously, it has not happened yet.  We are starting today.  Less stress because of the trend of "New Years" and the fatties that never EVER lose that weight.  It is September; we WILL be at our goal weight by March.  That's a good goal, right?  Well, we dont really care if you have an opinion on it.  We are doing it.  Whether you agree or disagree for our reasoning, get over it. 

Enjoy our blog!  It will be intense, down right gritty, and to the truth. 

See you at the bar in 6 months!

--Jessie and Nikki
aka...future man eaters.  *chomp*